Happy

I turn 25 this summer. To some, the number is an indication of my youthfulness & ignorance. I feel as if neither of these attributes, apply to me.

We’ve all had it rough, regardless of the intensity. These hardships mold us & how you desire to live in your skin, is completely in your hands. Be a coward & blame the entire world why you are so utterly miserable . On the other hand, use those defining moments as tools for your charcter, chisel yourself into an original piece of art.

I will not lie to you & say I have always lived by the “to better yourself” motto. I  once found myself immersed in a hole, filled to the brim with accusation & animosity.I was always digging because it was the only thing I knew. Being miserable had a once thought definable reason, along with actions in a hot pursuit.

I never thought I’d see 25 & many close to me, deep down I know, thought the same. I was reckless, not a care in the world about consequences. Selfish I was. I don’t regret any of it, cliche I know.

If it weren’t for those dark years, lonely days, & helpless moments, I wouldn’t be standing in front of the world with a smile on my face. I have seen it all, I really have. My family watched, a front row view, as I withered away. I have become a strong & independent woman with  some awesome fucking folks to back me up.

When I left in The Van, this revelation was not my intention. I was looking to kill time, ease a broken heart. I can’t tell you the precise moment I found myself. There wasn’t a morning I woke up, like hey, I’m fucking happy. Nothing like that. I’ve somehow just learned to deal with shit, figure it out. Van totaled? Hand me a wrench. Out of money? Hand me an umbrella. Someone slandered me? Pity them for their ignorance.

It’s the road man, she saved me. Her existence is the reason for my very being. My soul has been awakened & my mind at rest. Hell yea, there are some bad days. If it weren’t for those bad days, how could the great ones possibly be so great?

I’ve said it time & time again, come out here with me. Let her take you. You will never imagine the person you will become, I’ll bet my life on it.

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