Goodbye Facebook. Effective 7/7/14/ MST.

  1. The year I became legal to buy porn, graduated high school, became a stripper, and joined Facebook.

That’s right, eight years. I remember our first post, the excitement of finding you, the classless pictures from 2007 now stored in the “Only Me” folder, my first FB official breakup, a profile picture of me drunk on  the day I graduated high school,  the archived folders of old flames, me getting a tattoo, a brand on my ass, and every other meaningless moment in my life.

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I’m leaving you. We are no longer friends. You can’t like nor follow me. My name will no longer come up in the search bar. We will not have any mutual friends.

I’m rustling my hair as I’m writing this, because I’m not quite sure how to say this. Although we have had fun, and yes you now know everything about me, there comes a time when all good things come to an end. This my friend, is it. As Mr. Morrison once said, “This is the end, beautiful friend, this is the end.”

Why? I’m just exhausted, completely and utterly. This isn’t being free, you and I. I miss reading magazines on the shitter and not  friends’ latest post about their horrible day. I don’t want to upload anymore pictures tweaked by third party apps. I feel like you’re the middle man in a stalker situation and I’m getting the creeps. I’m sorry to knock you off the list first, as you know, I am still in love with my blog and Instagram. (Although, I saw Instagram had placed a sponsored image in my news feed.)

This wasn’t stemmed from a FB news feed battle nor slander of any kind from any jealous broads or ex-beaus. This is me, wanting  my life back. I don’t want anyone peering into my current relationship, recent dilemma, or how I’m feeling that day. It’s simply me seeking back my privacy.

I fucking did it. I lived, learned to let go, and told anyone to go fuck themselves who got in my way. I let the world watch me fall and pick myself back up again. Some of you even offered a hand while others put their foot on my chest. I did what I was always meant to do.. be free. So let’s end it here. Goodbye, my friend.

Yours Truly,

A.S.